Thursday, October 6, 2022

Woman Bashed for ‘Using Her Kids as an Excuse’ To Avoid ‘Heavy Duty’ Work

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A woman has been bashed online for “using her kids as an excuse” to avoid doing “heavy duty” work in a new viral post on social media.

Posted to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/randome_5682984 shared her story in order to receive opinions from the “AITA” community. The story has over 9,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The original poster (OP) began her story by describing what her work life is like. She explained how she works for an internal auditing company in the logistics auditing division. Her team typically shadows workers in companies that hire them to see where efficiency can be increased. This means the hours vary depending on the company.

Once the work is divided, the team can do their work from anywhere and at any time as long as it’s submitted by the due date. However, the OP mentioned that she has a coworker that “does her absolute best to work the least amount possible.”

Woman using her children as an excuse
A woman annoyed at work. Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman has been bashed online for “using her children as an excuse” to avoid “heavy duty” work.
fizkes/iStock / Getty Images Plus

“First she is either always pregnant and not ‘able’ to shadow anyone but the office workers, she is on maternity leave (4 months), on her yearly vacation (a month), or conveniently sick when it is time for some heavy duty work (she sends in a doctor’s notice, and we have unlimited PTO as long as you have a doctor’s notice). And [when] she is in the office, she is dumping her work on the others. She uses her kids as an excuse all the time. Well usually the other team members pick up her slack, I refuse to do so.” she said.

A large company recently hired her company and they needed everyone’s help. She mentioned that her coworker wasn’t on maternity leave and had just gotten back from her annual vacation. The OP was the person assigned to work from home to complete the data organization and analysis. The coworker, however, had to go to the city that the large company was in for three weeks to shadow its employees.

“She asked me to switch with her, apparently she can’t leave her 5 kids alone with her husband,” the OP explained, “I said no. She tried to guilt trip me by saying that what she would have to pay for child care is more than what she would get paid for the whole month, and that I don’t have any responsibilities like her. I told her ‘well they are not my kids, so I don’t see how that is my problem.'”

She wrote that some of her coworkers don’t know how what hard-working moms go through—since the OP is single and has no children—and how she should be more “compassionate.”

Newsweek reached out to u/randome_5682984 for comment.

How to work with a difficult coworker

When it comes to working, there may come a time when you must work with a difficult coworker. According to Indeed.com, here are some ways to help you and your peer work together:

  • Learn to voice your thoughts: Use the word “I” when confronting your coworker instead of “you.” Using language from your point-of-view could help your coworker why you’re upset or uncomfortable.
  • Acknowledge their perspective: Getting to know your coworker’s perspective can help you gain knowledge on how it shapes their behavior and point-of-view.
  • Focus on positive relationships between other coworkers: Try focusing on the positive rather than the negative. Build relationships with co-workers you have connections with.
  • Talk to your supervisor: If things aren’t getting better with your co-worker and it’s affecting your work, it’s time to talk to your supervisor to see if they can help.
  • Limit your interactions: If applicable, communicate with your co-worker as little as possible to avoid any stress.

Redditor reactions

“[Not the a**hole] Not your kid, not your problem. If she can’t travel because a guy she made 5 kids with can’t take care of them when she’s away for work, then she should change job to something not requiring travel,” u/Zblunk wrote, receiving the top comment with over 14,000 upvotes.

“Don’t back down and if she can’t accept that she also needs to do her fair share of the work and travelling if required then she’ll need to accept she needs to find another job,” u/ColdstreamCapple commented.

“You did not make the decision to have five children, nor did you make the decision to have a husband who cannot live up to the responsibility of a parent,” u/bamf1701 wrote. “Being single and childless, myself, I’m tired of people like us being treated like our time and our lives are less valuable because we don’t have kids. You shouldn’t have to shoulder extra work because another worker’s home life.”

“[Not the a**hole]. There’s a certain point where reciprocity is required. This is a co-worker that routinely dumps their work on to everyone else around her, having her on the team isn’t a positive. As you said it isn’t your problem that she has kids, it isn’t your business that she has kids, what is your business is that when she is in that seat she makes everyone else’s job just the little bit harder,” u/rmric0 explained.

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