Sunday, May 26, 2024

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck Are Engaged, and We Are Living in the Early 2000s Again

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Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are engaged to be wed. Much like a photon racing through the Large Hadron Collider, the love affair known as Bennifer has looped through spacetime to unveil a new foundation of particle physics and/or public romance. This is the couple’s second engagement after they called it off the first time in January 2004. Everyone should be very happy.

Lopez made the announcement via video on her fan newsletter, On the JLow, late Friday night. While we respect the pun aspect of her publication, its computing prowess isn’t so hot! One can only view the video by entering an email address and becoming a member. When this writer made several attempts to do so, there were technical issues. (And yes, we used Chrome as well as Safari.) We speculate that Bennifer fans from across the globe were crashing the site.

Page Six reports that in the video, JLo “stares adoringly at a green-hued diamond ring” and says “you’re perfect” in voiceover. “Romantic music” plays in the background of the images.   

Earlier on Friday, Lopez teased that something big was coming in a video posted to Facebook. 

“I have a really exciting and special story to share,” she said between chuckles, suggesting people sign up for her newsletter. 

This is, of course, a wonderful thing, and we wish Lopez and Affleck nothing but happiness. The resurrection of Bennifer has been a light unto the nations of popular culture, bringing us public displays of affection on a yacht, family-style photo ops with Krusty the Clown, and Ben’s dad saying he’d “heard of her” when asked about one of the most famous and glamorous women in the world.

We look forward to more details and Matt Damon’s best man speech. 

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